Will Youmans bawls like a baby at Congressman Peter King anti-Muslim hearings

Saying that he was so honored that someone had finally recognized him, Will Youmans, who continues to struggle as an inarticulate rapper, told members of the Hate Islam Hearings organized by New York Congressman Peter King that this moment was bigger than the night his prom date, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Jr., took him to the dance at Michigan State University at Ann Arbor.

The King hearings were called to explore the threat of radical Islam and Youmans said he was ebullient that he had been identified as a Muslim, let alone a terrorist threat.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," Youmans' gushed as tears diluted his mascara and blotched his blotchy cheeks.

"I have been on a mission of self-promotion for years and although I have performed for audiences that drew tens of crowds, this moment is a high mark for me. It's better than the time I went to the prom with Thabit al-Arabi and held his hand as we danced to the Enchantment Under the Sea song. Thabit lost the coin toss and had to wear the burqa. But that only allowed me to show off my mascara. Do you think emerald green looks good on me Mr. Peter?"

Youmans detailed his personal struggles, being rejected for membership in the Jabha al-Shabiyya and having to wander campuses across America in hopes of organizing anti-Israel rallies that he could use to create events he could perform at.

"Thank Allah for hate,"  Youmans cried. "If it wasn't for hate where would I be today? Hate has made me what I am. I am so proud of you Mr. Peter that you would call these public hearings so that for once, I can actually be invited without having to organize the event myself."

Youmans was escorted from the podium by al-Arabi and Qasim Lufti, who were wearing matching, brilliant red dresses with sequins designed by Um Kalthoum.

"Um baby is my idol," Youmans gushed. "To see my dear friends from Ikhras, Thabit and Qasim come here dressed in an Um Kalthoum designer gown only makes me want to cry even more."

-- Maklooba Man