KabobFest and Ikhras claim victory as Israel blocks Two-States

Israel's fanatics adopted a law this week that prevents the establishment of a Palestinian State, declaring that East Jerusalem can never be compromised unless a super majority of Israelis approve it.

It's the death knell of peace and the decision was hailed with a combined party celebrated at the offices of Ikhras and KabobFest at the Washington Palestine Center. As the celebrants danced with the jabala's pulled high in to the air as if they were enjoying an airport security screening -- or maybe doing the pat downs themselves -- they sung songs cheering their future and declaring that their future was saved.

"Our jobs will be saved. Conflict is the answer to unemployment in the Middle East," conflict Ikhras spokesman Khunzeer Abu-Ihmar declared. "We were concerned we would all be out of work but now that conflict is a certainty and we can send little children back to their deaths and lock down the destitute and forlorn Palestinian refugees in their mire, we will be able to secure grants, money and hold programs promoting hatred, exploiting emotions and basically creating more mayhem. Mayhem is good for us. It creates more jobs. Allows us to pay for our Western lifestyles and be able to denounce those lifestyles. It is the perfect storm for us."

Ikhras spokesman Khunzeer Abu-Ihmar then began a rendition of Ray Hanania's enthusiastic chant, "Luuuuu luuuuu luuuuu luuuuu luuuuu," declaring. It actually does sound funny. Seven thousand Chicagoans can't be all wrong.

The Palestine Center also cheered saying that it was worried that a genuine peace would make their organization irrelevant.

"Our goal is not peace. Our goal is self-preservation as an organization that uses Palestinian charity moneys and donations. Peace would be the end of us," said Palestine Center rapper Billy Yo-Mans. "Yea baby. I have more gigs. It's a small sacrifice to have the Palestinian refugees remain in their ghettos. Why not? They have been used to it for three generations or more. They don't know the difference. Screaming and yelling and anger and suffering are good for the soul. It cleanses out hope and makes my life so much more successful."

Khunzeer Abu-Ihmar added that he would even pop for lessons in writing in English and might buy a Mercedes.

"This is a time to celebrate. If Palestinians can't have everything, then why should the Israelis have anything. t's only fair," Khunzeer Abu-Ihmar declared.

At which time Bill Yo-Mans, leaders of the Palestine Center in Washington DC and the Ikhras arm-chair revolutionaries pulled out their Gold-Plated Hamas Made scissors and proceeded to cut of their noses to spite their already spiteful faces.

-- Maklooba Man