Whacked out terrorist claims credit for Mayor Daley retiring; says it was just a hoax against Cubs

Alleged terrorist claims credit for Mayor Daley retiring; says it was just a hoax against Cubs

Sami Samir Hassoun, one of Chicago's most famous Arab Americans, is secretly telling the FBI that he is really just a misunderstood Cubs Fan who was angry not with Mayor Daley but with the baseball team for lifting his spirits at the beginning of each season only to allow them to crash to the ground.

Hassoun, 22, from Little Arabia on Chicago's Northwest Side, was arrested Sunday after he and an undercover FBI agent planted a fake bomb in a trash can near a bar new Wrigleyfield where the Cubs allegedly play baseball.

In broken Arabic, Hassoun said, "Cubs stink, ya zellama. Hathol memyouk. I was not angry at the beobles." Hassoun said he never suspected that his friends who helped him make the bomb, plan the bombing and place the bomb were FBI agents, explaining he just thought they liked to look up every word in Arabic to find its English meaning. "I thought it was a habby hobby they had. They like Arab dictionaries to help Arab beoples."

Undercover agents said that they spent many nights with Hassoun smoking apricot tobacco on their hookahs reading web sites like KabobFest and Ikhras. Hassoun said that he hoped he could write for those sites one day when he becomes famous enough in the Arab American community.

"I tell friends that Ikhras is a felahi word for sakr tumache. That they are just beobles like me, you, them. All habby beobles," Hassoun is quoted in the FBI report as saying.

When agents arrested Hassoun, he was excited yelling in Arabic that he had forced Daley to retire from office. He said "Daley knew about my blans and therefore retired knowing I would do something, so I changed my blans to maybe force the Cubs to change, too. The beobles united will never be defeated."

Hassoun denied that he had been invited by The Palestine Center to give a speech on his exploits as a "real leader" of the "Arab beobles."

-- Maklooba Man