Hanania vows to lead flotilla of journalism principles to crack KabobFest hatred and force them to tell the truth

Ray Hanania, the new member of the National Board of ADC (and organization he has been a member of since first joining in 1980) announced that he was leading a flotilla of flotsam and jetsam to break the siege by KabobFest on truth, accuracy and good writing.

Hanania has been the target of KabobFest, a collection of writers who all share a common writing disability known as "lameness,"ever since he first asked Will Yo Yo Man if he was an African American hip hop artist or just a no-talent wannabe. Yo Yo Man responded by quoting the entire lyrics to Snoop Doggs song, "Party with ADPG." Yo-Yo Mans did change one sentence defining ADPG as "Annoying Dipwad Purile Goof."

"The flotilla is intended to break through the siege that KabobFest has on truth and a ragtag collection of useless internet lurkers," Hanania told KabobFest Charred, the antithesis of KabobFest.

"We've had the boats checked and there are no weapons. We only have in the cargo a copy of the Webster Dictionary, Strunk and White's popular "Elements of Style" rewritten in single syllable phonetics so the KabobFesters can better understand what they are reading. It will also include a spell check, a Thesaurus and a list of words that include more than 4 letters and four syllables to add sophistication to the KabobFest site. They really need help badly."

KabobFest this week attacked Hanania with a malicious gaggle of phony quotes, distorted comments, sentences taken out of context from his many award winning columns. They've called on their readers to protest his appointment to ADC, exemplifying the very problem that undermines the Palestinian people's ability to achieve freedom by embracing intolerance and hatred.

"KabobFest is just angry that my writings continue to win big awards while the best they can hope for is a falafel fry at the Palestine Center featuring  hummus wrestling bimbos. They've distorted everything, lied about everything, and they have even fabricated quotes in their campaign to remove me from the ADC board. I didn't realize they cared so much about about ADC since they are among the leaders of discrimination in the community," Hanania said.

KabobFest has attacked Hanania viciously in typical extremist style. They have tapped their cabal of evil liars to make up phony quotes and to distort Hanania's award winning columns. Hanania was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize by the Chicago Sun-Times a fact that KabobFest continues to deny. Of course they have never won an award. Hanania has racked up two more awards this year, both for his writings detailing the discrimination  faced by an Arab grocer in suburban Chicago that no one at KabobFest thought was worth fighting for.

"They're just jealous. But the real issue is they can't argue against my facts and opinions so they resort to what most lynch mobs do and that is to attack the person. They can't attack my points so they have to attack me personally. It's the best they can do and I feel sorry for them. I mean, going around life with so little self-esteem that the only way you can feel important and have self-worth is to bring down someone with a huge resume of journalism achievement," Hanania said.

"That's pathetic!"

-- Maklooba Man