Hezbollah Leader Hassan Nasrallah issued a Fatwa this week declaring "Gee-had"on KabobFest, the collaborative of poor writing that seeks to make Iron Sheik relevant.
Nasrallah said that the Jihad declaration was in response to reports that KabobFest had disgraced the entire Shi'ite world with their skewering (polling) of Miss USA Pageant Winner Rima Fakih.
"Rima is no Debbie Schlussel. She is respectful although misguided. Instead of dancing naked around Poles, she should support the Pales," Nasrallah said, saying the Polish People have their own country and Palestinians still do not.
"We'd offer the Palestinians to come to live in Lebanon, but too many of them are educated and it is very hard to manipulate a population that is educated and asks questions. No questions. That is a foundation of the Hezbollah mandate."
Nasrallah said that Rima Fakih should renounce the Miss USA Pageant, though, until Donald Trump, the co-owner gets a new hairpiece.
"That's why we wear kifeyahs and hatta wa-igals. Yalla. Nourcous. No, I didn't say 'dance," I was calling my top aid Mahmoud Nourcous to come here and rub my back. You look very pretty this morning Mahmoud!" Nasrallah blathered.
"I read KabobFest, or is it Iron Sheik Charred. Who cares? They are a CIA plant, a scheme by the Zionist Entity to make Arab writers look like idiots and fools and KabobFest is so good at it. They make us look like idiots with their secret alliances with the Zionist entity Sugar Boobs, the very handsome and devine and good looking Head Heeb Honcho at KabobFest. Cul khara hathol khunzeer at KabobFest. Though, the Yo-man looks like my kind of a man, you know? We should not be enticed by this CIA Western corruption like KabobFest."
"Takrear-end."
"Allahu akbar!!!"
-- Maklooba Man
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