Republicans announce they will crack down on anti-Semites and haters in their party

The Republican Party finally, after years of prayers from Born against Christians and Evangelists, announced Tuesday that they would begin a pogrom to banish fellow Republicans who are anti-Semitic, anti-Islamic, anti-everyone and to ban speech rising out of racist hatred, demagoguery and demonization.


Illinois Republican Chairman Pat Brady announced that the Illinois Chapter of the Grand Old Party, long ago associated with the Ku Klux Klan in the south, would begin by singling out Republican Senatorial candidate Andy Martin, who, Brady admitted, has no chance in hell of being elected to anything in Illinois, though he does qualify to host a talk show on the FOX Cable News Network.


Martin, Brady said, called his opponent in the Illinois GOP Senate contest scheduled for Feb. 2, a "homo," which is an old person's term for a Gay man or woman, although most Republicans said they have no problem with Lesbian women now that former Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter has come out of the closet and announced she was a Lesbian, too.


(Cheney nearly had a heart attack when she announced her sexuality, but he later recovered after learning he had misheard his daughter and she was NOT Lebanese.)


Brady said that the GOP will not tolerate outbursts that are anti-Gay nor will they accept other racist demonizations, pointing out that 25 years ago Martin had once questioned the Holocaust and referred to a judge who criticized his legal filings as "an Old Jew."


The Chicago Tribune, helping to provide Brady with some facts that he couldn't cite himself, reported on their story Tuesday.

The Tribune wrote: "In federal court filings from the 1980s related to bankruptcy proceedings against him, Martin called one federal judge a "crooked, slimy Jew, who has a history of lying and thieving common to members of his race."

To emphasize the crime, the Chicago Tribune also noted, "He also expressed sympathy to the perpetrators of the Holocaust."


A spokesperson for Kirk refused to comment, saying only, "I'm just appawled at the nast-tee-ness of Mr. Martin, a hunk of a man who should be nicer to gerbils and Jews. We have no comment except to saay-yah to Mr. Mark, 'You Go Girl'!" He then snapped his fingers three times in the air to emphasize his point.


No one in the media wanted to hear Martin's response that he was merely quoting a popular right-wing conservative radio talk show host and businessman Jack Roeser on the voice of conservatism, WIND Radio.


Fortunately, a sleepy Tribune Editor accidentally left in a paragraph in their story supporting Martin's claims that he was merely repeating what he had been told by other conservative Republicans, although the paper, standing by its policy to always take political sides in Republican inter-party wars, did not quote Martin:

The Tribune reported, "On the WIND broadcast, Roeser criticized several Republicans for their support of gay rights and said of Kirk "a solid rumor is that he himself is homosexual," according to a podcast on Roeser's Web site."

Media pundits speculated that Roeser was trying to say that there is a "hard rumor" not a solid rumor and was misquoted.


The crackdown is expected to continue and sweep through the closet of full-time race-baiting bigots in the rightwing media, although an insider source said "it might not begin until sometime, maybe later, when time has passed and hell has frozen over and possibly, who knows, whatever!"


Among potential next targets of this amazing miraculous Republican Crackdown on hate speech are expected to be:


Michelle Malkin
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Rush Limbaugh
Glenn Beck


GOP leaders were quick to point out though that anti-Semitism, Holocaust revisionism, perennial candidacies and gay-bashing should not be confused with Islamophobia, anti-Arab bigotry, Muslim-bashing and other "badly needed weapons in the arsenal against Ay-rab terrorism."


Palestinians were quick to give Andy Martin a speaking time at their "Save What's Left of the Hamas Gaza Strip" rallies being organized all over the world, is six cities.


-- Maklooba Man

Angry Arab finally goes berserk

The Angry Arab blogster, "Angry Arab News Service," finally, after years of blathering like an idiot and fool, got angry. Yes, The Angry Arab put some real anger and hatred into his worthless blog called "The Angry Arab News Service" where suicide bombing is saluted, martyrdom is hailed, and Jew bashing and bashing anyone who doesn't bash Israel is the message of the day.

Will Youmans after a hard day at work

The guy can't even write, which is not unusual for slobbering suck-ups who reject any compromise with Israel and beat the drum to push the Palestinians over the edge into conflict and violence. But The Angry Arab isn't on the front lines. Now. He lives in the comfort of some Western home with two cars, a college scholarship, and probably a job at McDonalds. It's not his life on the line pushing the Palestinians to reject peace and embrace continued conflict. Oh no. All or nothing doesn't mean "nothing" for him. No, just the Palestinians who live in the Squaller or the refugee camps. Let's keep them there so that we have someone to point to when we bash and spew hatred and "anger."

Good job, moron. When you wonder why the Palestinians remain in destitution, just look your blog in the mirror and puke!

By the way, the web site describes itself as a "sore on politics, war, the Middle East, Arabic poetry, and Art."

-- Maklooba Man

Obama, White House denounce KabobFest and Iron Sheik as terrorist threats

President Barack Obama came to the defense of besieged Washington DC couple Tareq and Michaele Salahi Sunday saying that he wished everyone who crashed security would in fact be unfunny marginalized celebrities seeking a reality show.

"I hope that the Salahis become the poster children of what the future terrorists should be like. Well dressed, hot wives that haven't been tee'd up by Tiger Woods with strangely spelled first name and who are not packing," Obama said as his wife Michelle with two "L's" offered fist bumps to the media.

I am most distressed, though, by the racism this incident has provoked from the terrorism apology site KabobFest, which is operated by the sinister and vile Iron Sheik.

Most distressing besides their obvious racism and love of violence, Hamas, and hate is their inability to write and their illiterate lack of composition.

"I understand that English is their second language -- no, let me be clear, their 5th language to match their 5th column agenda," Obama said as Michelle with two "L's" continued to fistbump among the reporters, up close and sweaty and wildly, yelling "I have two L's M-f'ers!"

Obama continued undeterred by his wife, "I'd like to see the Iron Sheik try to make it through security, eat a tarantula on I'm a Celebrity Get me out of Here. I'd like to see the Iron Sheik find some good writers for a change who can make funny without using hatred and viciousness and cheap jokes stolen from the Internet, which was stolen from Al Gore."

A press spokesman for Obama later explained that the Iron Sheik was simply mad at the White House for not inviting him to perform in his broken English -- or, as Michelle with two "L's" Obama screamed as she fist bumped Chris Matthews on the floor of the press room, "his copycat of Black people rap rhetoric performances."

Later, Michelle Obama added, as she caught her breath, "I also have a big A or big, First Nation sized booty baby!"

There was no comment from KabobFest or the Iron Sheik -- no comment that anyone could decipher or translate properly to make literary sense.

The Maklooba Man

Jerusalem Center blames Israel for inventing Qassem Rockets

The Jerusalem Center analyst today "blasted Israel" (there's a redundancy, again) claiming that Israel invented the Qassem Rocket and forced Palestinian prisoners to fire them in a sophisticated scheme typical of "the Zionists" to make excuses to destroy Palestine.

It was all another plot by Ariel Sharon, they said, who insists on not dying just to spite those spiteful Hamas terrorists. (They have been waiving shawerma -- oops, sorry -- Israeli Gyros sandwiches every hour on the hour near Sharon's bedside in the hopes the stolen Arab food will awaken Sharon from his slumber. He must be dreaming of all those palestinians he killed at Qafr Qassem in 1956, but we digress.)

To quote the site, "Israel is a racist, non-entity that insists on existing, zionist plot blah, blah, blah, blah, more misspelled rhetoric and press releases with many typos, and ... hey, is that Maklooba? Can I have some. Thanks."

Palestinian supporters rallied around the article claiming that anytime you can bash Israel and eat Maklooba, it's a good time.

Pass around the candy.

-- Maklooba Man

Nigerian hijacker linked to Kabobfest terrorists

FBI and Israeli security agents -- but why be redundant? -- FBI agents raided the apartment of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab who is charged with the attempted hijacking of the  Northwest Airlines Flight 253 on Christmas Eve.

Abdulmutallab confessed during extreme torture sessions that he was a writer for KabobFest, a popular online web site written in English for Arabs who can't read English but love all the Jew-bashing, moderate-bashing and any kind of bashing as long as you don't dare touch the Hamas Martyrs or denounce suicide bombings.

Police found the details of a KabobFest plot to hijack the Internet by holding the passengers of flight 253 hostage.

But Abdulmutallab said that his KabobFest mentors confused him as he could not count in English and had intended to grab Flight 352 instead of 253. Reagrdless, he said KabobFest gave him a jacket filled with Maklooba, the upsidedown cauliflower and eggplant rice and chicken favorite that has come to symbolize the upsidedown nature of Kabobfest.

KabobFest scribes distributed a press release to the news media defending Abdulmutallab that began:

"Down with the Shah! Down with Israel! Down with Sadat! Down, Down, Down with Down. Down with those descendants of the Heebs and Down with Israel. And, we wish to emphasize "Up with Hamas, Up with the Jabha, Up with Jamaican martyr Chill Yoo-man, and UP with Qassem Rockets. Up, up up."

FBI agents said they were having a difficult time understanding the meaning of the message, noting they always have a difficult time understanding extremist rhetoric anyway but they believe the KabobFesters were merely trying to be funny.

AbdulMutallab confessed he was recruited by KabobFest agents after the Nigerian Spam Internet Market started toc ollapse in today's downturning economy.

"How can a Nigerian make money these days? I had no choice. I had to turn to the KabobFest. I thought it was a falafel stand. I didn't know they were martyr-wannabes."

Abdulmutallab also said that he first met one of the KabobFesters online when the KabobFester sent him $5,000 to purchase $1 million in painted money.

"Chris Hansen turned me on to them. It's not my fault. Luuuuuuuu luuuuuuu luuuuuuuu luuuuuu luoie!"

Contributed by SkewereFest

www.SkewerFest.com